ebb & flow

I scurried down a steep rock face using my hands to grab onto the edge of boulders as I felt out good places to put my shoes as I climbed down towards the sea. My bike should be okay up there. I don’t think anyone would steal it. Nahh, it’s a small island. I’ll turn around and check on it every couple of minutes. I placed my foot on what I thought to be a sturdy rock but it wobbled back and forth as I put more weight on it. After crouching down to do the final bum slide before tiptoeing across rocks and seasweed, I had almost reached the edge of the ocean.

hmmmm-ahhhhhhh sounded my breath as I inhaled and exhaled deeply and closed my eyes, feeling the overcast sun strongly on my already sweaty skin. 9:08 AM. I’d been awake for three hours and already journalled, worked on my book, researched, replied to a couple emails and biked around the island twice, about seven miles. Time to relax for a few minutes by one of the best places anyone could find themselves; the ebb&flow of the Atlantic ocean. I took off my Giros and socks and left them trailing behind me as I focused on getting to the icy water to soak my feet.

Large heads of seaweed were tossed back and forth as the ocean breathed into the land. hmmmmmmm said Flow as he galloped over boulders, watery fireworks shooting into the air. ahhhhhhhhhh responded Ebb as she drifted out to sea to meet Flow soon after, and let him cascade over her.

I walked out into the water, carefully balancing on seaweed and rocks as I stepped towards a half-submerged boulder deep enough to cover my knees when I sat. Water seeped into my blue and grey athletic capris as I sat down on a bed of seaweed and extended my legs. ahhhhhhhhhh I sighed with Ebb as my legs grew accustomed to the chill.

And each time Flow approached me, I breathed with him. And when Ebb released him, I too, exhaled. And we sat together and breathed with our eyes closed to where we were and whether or not we were alone, and were filled with grace. Flow poured thoughts of thanks over me in between my legs and onto my abdomen and brought me laughter.

Thank you God for all of my friends hmmmmmm

And thank you for the time I spend alone ahhhhhhh

Thank you God for all of my possessions hmmmmmm

And for the things I do not yet have ahhhhhhh

Thank you God for all of my successes hmmmmmm

And for all the times I’ve failed ahhhhhhhh

Thank you God for keeping me healthy hmmmmmm

And for each time I’ve gotten sick ahhhhhhh

Thank you God for all of my food hmmmmmm

And thank you for the times of hunger ahhhhhhh

Thank you God for loving me deeply hmmmmmm

And for the times I feel unloved ahhhhhhh

Ebb, Flow and I meditated together for what seemed like hours while my bike laid above, on a cliff, watching the clouds open and close, sparkling sunlight on its’ chain links and pedal clips. And Ebb whispered to me that I was getting cold, and Flow insisted that I go, crashing down hundreds of thousands of chilling, salty drops onto my thighs, through my shirt and onto my face, which already had its’ own beads of moisture on my cheeks and at the corners of my eyes from the ebb and flow of my physical limits and my emotional beginnings.

And as I withdrew from the sea, it withdrew from me. And as I flowed towards home, flow beckoned me back. You can always go back. ~*~

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