“In the grand scheme of things, this moment is a speck. But in this moment right now, it’s my everything.”
She tells me that she’s passed into the threshold of caring about him.
She tells me that her head spins with anxiety and doubt, hoping to hear from him.
…how he’s 32 and couldn’t be leading her on
She tells me that their time spent together is so natural
She also says she has parts of herself hidden away
That she’s afraid to open up about her true feelings because she doesn’t want to scare him away
She tells me that she hasn’t slept in days contemplating the possibility of a reality with him
She tells me that he isn’t in a good place to have a relationship
She tells me she needs reassurance
&& I listen to her words with a pang in my heart
For painting that same story was a suffering art
Always reaching for the broken though the broken denies your hand
And then making it your mission to become part of the broken clan
Sing their songs and dance their dance, and perhaps you’ll win their heart
But hiding your values from judgemental eyes only sets a saint apart
From moral understanding
And at worst, apart from God
For a worldly test, a failed test nonetheless, uncovers the falsities that are sought.
I have dreams about chasing. But relationships shouldn’t be based on chasing. It’s too tolling. We need to communicate with each other and be on the same page as the people we surround ourselves with. Otherwise everyone would be either be mindlessly babbling or purposely isolating themselves.