Happy International Quit Day!

This isn’t a sad post about quitting something after trying and failing.

This isn’t a pathetic announcement of any personal dilemmas or misgivings.

This is not to seek attention, confirmation, or assurance.

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It’s a celebration!

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A jubilation!

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This is a moment to be shared and cheered upon. A holiday.

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A HOLIDAY!

International Quit Day.

The day where everybody gives up.

Stops what they’re doing.

Blows off their to-do list.

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I don’t mean quitting your job.

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Or quitting loving your family.yourstory_Quit_Job

 

Not quitting taking care of yourself.

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Or taking care of others.

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International Quit Day is about quitting trying to control all of the things you have no control over.

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I recently took a new job that requires living in a family’s home and helping care-give for a 95 year- old woman. By taking the job, I was agreeing to live life by this family’s standard. We eat together often, clean up after one another, offer each other coffee, tea, help with whatever we’re doing. Everything is a team effort.

This family has a way of doing things that have been established long before I got here.

'That's the new kid on the block.'

When I arrived I was looking for structure. I was looking for a schedule. I wanted to know when I was working and when I wasn’t working. I wanted to know whose turn it was for dishes, and whose day it was for getting up early.

All of my preconceived ideas of a “job” were challenged, and clashed with the family’s values and ideas.

I hardly knew anything for certain, except that I would certainly be challenged in the kitchen on who was making breakfast and how to load the dishwasher.

I was frustrated.

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I started praying and asking for guidance and understanding. And a message started to speak me from all directions:

“Just quit.”

 

Quit the negativity.

Quit the judging.

Quit the anger.

…the abuse.

…the resentment.

…the pride.

the haste.

anxiety.

worrying.

>>Stop being stressed over things you cannot change<<

Quit the control.

Because when we try to control everything, we get angry when we lose that control. We feel powerless. Because we are powerless.

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 The only being that has true control over everything is God.

He created the sun, and makes it shine.

…He also makes thunderstorms shake our houses.

He created the power and sometimes makes the power go out.

…He also decides when the power comes back on (and when the internet starts working again 😀 )

…Which relieves all the mommies and daddies in this world with child.

…Whose beautifully crafted fingers and toes were carefully placed on each baby, by God.

…Whose lungs are filled again and again with life-giving, God-breathed air.

He created us to depend on Him. He is a good father who loves us and loves taking care of us. There’s no need to get wound up in all of life’s many anxieties when he can lift our burdens and brighten our days, if we would just quit, and ask him to take over.

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“Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation,

with prayer and petition,

in thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your heart and mind in Christ.”

Philippians 4:6-7

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We need God. He created us and put us on this planet. Without him, we are powerless. We must depend on him for superhuman strength. Ask him for it, and he WILL give it to you~ #Jesustheoriginalsuperhero #boastinyourweakness

So I decided to quit trying to do things my way. I gave up trying to control my environment. I confessed my part of the problem, apologizing for not being patient and waiting to see how I could step in and help, on the family’s terms; how I could weave myself into their family’s tapestry and introduce my needs alongside their routines.

 

>We first talked, then cried, prayed, then laughed 😛 ❤ <

And I’m not upset, now that I surrendered my problems to God. #boastinyourweakness

I’m not anxious now that I’m trusting God to unfold his plan in his time. #imlostwithoutyou

 

I asked God to lift my burden, and He told me to relax, and just Quit. He’s got this. #inGodwetrust ❤

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And now, I’m free~

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Every day can be International Quit day. Who knew giving up could be so satisfying? And smart! IQ day anyone?! 😉

Love you all! ❤

V

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Learning how to love

The word “love” is mentioned 38 times in this post.

Do you know how to love? Really think about it. How many healthy, positive, relationships do you have in your life? Are most, some or any of them thriving? Do you feel like you are receiving as much love as you are giving in your relationships? Maybe you are married or dating someone who you wish would do or say things differently. Maybe you feel like your friendship with somebody is one-sided and you’re tired of trying so hard.

It’s hard to love some people. Personally, it’s hard to love my family sometimes.

But since I value having quality relationships with them, I’m learning how to practice unconditional love. It’s been a few years of healing that are far from over.

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I know I’m not the only one that struggles to ask “how can I make your life easier?” or “what can I do to help you?” to people that can be ungrateful, unpleasant or unappreciative.

I’m not the only one who is quick to give advice when maybe all the other person wanted was a listening ear, or a heartfelt hug.

I’m not the only one to withdraw my love when I’ve felt like somebody else has withdrawn theirs. Or to withdraw my self instead of communicating my feelings with whoever is causing me or someone else pain.

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This isn’t just a book review, I swear.

Gary Chapman originally wrote “The Five Love Languages for Married Couples” to help sustain marriages. He got such an incredible response that he decided to write a book with the same concepts for singles. This book focuses on a whole lot more than just romantic relationships. The methods outlined in the book can be applied to any relationship in your life.

Chapman theorizes that there are five different ways that humans show love to others, and five ways that humans crave to feel loved.

  1. Verbally: complimenting and praising others

  2. Spending time: one-on-one time, focusing on them

  3. Acts of service: doing the laundry, raking the leaves, running errands

  4. Gifts: giving thoughtful gifts at any time for no apparent reason

  5. Physical Touch: hugs, kisses, a press on the arm, a squeeze on the shoulder

 

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Often times we find ourselves frustrated with our relationship with another person.

We might be mad at a family member for habitually tracking sand up the stairwell after coming in from outside.

We might be upset with our SO or spouse because they never say “thank you” enough after cooking them a nice meal.

We could resent our aunt for forgetting to send a birthday card two years in a row.

The love that I crave is different than the love my sister craves. I need to spend quality time with people to fill my love tank. She needs to give and receive hugs and touch to fill her love tank.

The love I give and crave is different than the love my stepmom gives and craves. I give her a basket of yarn to show my love for her, when what she craved was for somebody to wash the kitchen floors for once. She prepares food and vacuums to show her love for me when I craved to be invited to watch a show with her in the living room.

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If we don’t understand the kind of love a person is showing, we don’t feel loved. When we don’t give the kind of love a person is seeking, they don’t feel loved. It’s important to understand what kind of love people crave, and how we give it.

Gary Chapman gives lots of real-life examples of people overcoming tough times in their relationships with others after effectively learning to love them. Learning how to love enhances relationships.

One of my favorite quotes from the book The Five Love Languages for Singles, found on page 148 is:

“Our differences are numerous, but our basic needs are the same. If we are to serve people, which is life’s highest calling, then we must know them — male and female.”

This book has helped me tremendously and I’ve been raving about it to most everyone in my life. Cuz lets be honest, we ALLLLL got problems with other people in our lives. By reading this book, you can learn what kinds of love make you most fulfilled, which ways you tend to express love to others, and figure out which way other people in your life need to be loved and how you can practice loving them.

It’s worth it, I promise.

Love you all ❤

Come again!
V